I accidentally had phone sex last night
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My feet surprised me
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