just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
