I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
