maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
