i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
