I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
