put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
