one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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