this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Verdict: uncircumcised.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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