I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
