so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
