god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
