well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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