dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
