your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
