I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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