Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
