sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
