i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
