I need to stop coming to work sober
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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