If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
