i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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