I'm jealous of your bromance
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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