The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
