Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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