Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize