so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
two words...techno handjob
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
