i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
