i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize