Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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