if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
