if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
