Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
