google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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