Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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