so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
