yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
