No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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