I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
