her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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