Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
