I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was born a porn star she said
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
