you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
