Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
