The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
