if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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