I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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