I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
