i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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