Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
