the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
