never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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