the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
